Believe me when I say: I took more than 1000 photos!

Craig and I have now been safe and sound in London for one week, two days and seven hours.
I have tried and tried to get the photos edited and online but seriously ... I took over a THOUSAND. I've only just finished uploading the Australian photos and there are three hundred and eighty of them!
And I'm in LONDON. I don't want to coop myself up just to get them all done. You're lucky enough that the rain has delayed me today enough to say screw uploading them all in order and just threw some of my favourites online which I will share with you now.



(Sadly the street is named after a politician, not the superhero)



The Royal Exhibition Hall reflected in the modern façade of the Melbourne Museum.
Can you spot Craig?



Colourful huts along Brighton Beach, Melbourne.



Riding the Quadbike behind Craig in Thuddungra



He always drove at a very sensible speed.



Kaz, who enjoyed covering me with mud.



Sections of a Sphere. And me.









In Bangkok we walked until we thought we would drown. It was always over 30 (even when we arrived at 11pm) and the humidity was intense.
We were almost scammed and got lost once. We also found our way around and took boats and tuktuks and the skytrain.
We almost sold our souls for airconditioning.



It was beautiful and awe inspiring. Spiritual and friendly. It was dirty and smelly and full of people selling things.
We didn't get anything stolen from us and a stranger helped us cross the road.
I loved it and I hated it.



The Reclining Buddha (Wat Pho) brought tears to my eyes. He is beautiful and bigger than you could ever imagine.
He is 46m long and 15m high. But you really can't imagine just how tiny you feel staring up at his beatific face with gold just ... everywhere.





We didn't ride elephants but we fed monkeys and snorkelled with tropical fish.
The monkeys are eerily like tiny humans. You feed them bananas but you can hold out a banana skin in the shape of a full banana and they will just look at you like "Uh yea? That's just the skin. We don't Eat that. Crazy humans"



Turns out, fish BITE. See the little yellow and black ones? they're called Tiger Fish. And I got bitten twice. Little fuckers hurt too, but they don't leave a mark.
We were snorkelling and the people who stayed on the boat would throw in piece of bread and the fish would just swarm. And apparently I look like bread.







Craig and I both got stung by jellyfish. We'd only been in the water about 10 minutes when it happened! definitely unfair.
Craig got stung on his knee, I got stung on my left ankle, the back of my left thigh and the one pictured, by far the biggest, it wraps three quarters of the way around my thigh. And it hurt. A lot. But now I can say I've been stung by a jellyfish!



We went to an Insect and Butterfly farm in the Cameron Highlands.



I don't exactly know why they had a turtle there. But I held the angry squirmy thing.





In Kuala Lumpur we went to see the Petronas Towers at night.
We'd never seen them before and we walked out to the viewpoint with our eyes firmly fixed on the ground just in front of our feet then turned and they were amazing!
They are so much brighter and whiter than the photo allows. It was raining too hard to attempt a no-flash picture.



Proof that I carried my bag(s). Proof they were really huge (17.4kg on my back alone) and an indication that they were rather cumbersome. With them on I am filling the doorway.
I think I'm shorter now.





A plane above St. Paul's Cathedral. I love this shot as it gives some indication of just how immense the Cathedral really is.
One day we will walk up to the dome. One day.



Look Mum! A Squirrel! in Hyde Park!



I'm sorry, it may be hot and crowded, and you miss out on seeing a lot of London but I still Love the underground. I love my oyster card, I love being able to get a seat and I love emerging from the stations to have say, Big Ben smack me in the face.



Dali Universe! I am so excited!



Big Ben - seen through the gate to the Houses of Parliament.



The Great Court inside the British Museum.



Britannia on her fountain outside Buckingham Palace.


p.s. the trip was amazing. More difficult and rewarding than I ever thought it would be. We got lost and found again, stung and bitten, sweltered and froze. And at the end of it all? we get to be in London.
And planning a trip home to share stories in person.

p.p.s. remind me to tell you the story about how I almost saw the Queen.

More clichés ... like sitting on a suitcase to close it.

Craig and I have spent today packing.
Our bags are heavy as all hell and teetering on the brink of pay-extra heavy.

Over the next two weeks I will probably have pretty easy access to the internet but the two weeks after that? I really don't know.

What I will be doing is using my darling-heart twitter.

This is it!

Sometimes? Somethings are Clichés for a reason.

I really really wish I had another way to phrase my outlook on life at the moment. But the annoying, vapid cliché keeps coming back and tapping me on the shoulder (Hi! I may be annoying but I make an irritating amount of sense ... c'mon ...) and I end up saying that at the moment I am very much in the mindset of :

Feel the fear ...



And do it anyway



(Please note that I am not aiming wildly into the air. It's called recoil damnit!)

It is annoying and clingy and I cannot get rid of it.
But while I am very scared about moving away (did you know? when I moved out home I moved just a 10 minute walk away?) for an extended holiday, that I need to pretend that I am not scared and just DO IT ANYWAY. Because it will be so enormously worth it.





(It already kind of is.)



Thankfully I am going away with a man who looks like a puppy:



I get to shoot a gun! A gun, baby! A Gun!

And who has little fear.



Pop! pop pop pop pop pop pop p- Oo I'm out.

But who gives me the courange to shoot a gun.




I really hope the gunshot residue (smells like fireworks!) is gone by Monday. Otherwise travelling might become very interesting ...

And I watch another white dash, another white dash, another white dash fly beside us ...

We pulled out of my parents' driveway and I had my hand pressed against my face. The radio was playing (seriously) an R.E.M. song:

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

(seriously!)

Craig just looked at me and changed the station.



I had hoped that living with my family for a month would have made it easier to leave them, but it really didn't. Driving away I took stock and realised that I'm wearing a bracelet that one sister made, another shares my stretched earrings, we all wear our mother's face and our father's sense of humour. They're with me.

(We left Wellington at just after 10am and arrived in Auckland with a wheeze of tyres just after 9pm. I had a lot of time to think).



It's unfortunate. Driving up the North Island under mary-blue skies and animal clounds, between Colin McCahon hills all I can think is how beautiful this country is. And we're leaving it!







(poor little car)







(There were many many hours spent in the car with not much to do.)



As we were leaving Taupo I started crying (I was on edge most of the day) and it started to rain. Even though we could see blue sky out the windows the rain was beating down.
Craig looked over at me and joked "Maybe it's you" & I laughed. Just then the rain stopped.

It was a day of strange coincidences, the start of a new month and the end of the world as we knew it.
Besides the tender aubergine bruise of missing family I am getting hugely excited. This is actually happening!
If you plan something for more than a year and a half it starts to take on mythic proportions.




Oh and can I just tell you that Twitter is a lifesaver? I've managed to get all of my family set up (and I'm about to bully Craig into it as well) which meant that yesterday, as I was travelling up the country I was able to update many people at once about what I was doing.
I've always felt that I'm closer to the people I don't have to "recap" my life for. I lovelovelove being able to let people know about the cute shoes I saw in a little boutique, or that a great hair day was wasted on a car journey (What? it was Really annoying) without having to dredge my recent history in order to fill an email with a mainly-boring-&-formulaic recap email.
Anyway. Twitter is adorable and I love it! I tweet! (this can also be seen in the little grey box on the left hand side of my website)

http://www.twitter.com/ohdarling

Soldier ...

I like being damaged.
It makes me feel like I am tough.

But really, I just fell outside my house and this was the result.

Tales from the graaaaaave ...

In uh, Celebration of the end of my tenure (3 years, 10 months and 11 days ...) at an UNDISCLOSED call centre I have decided to share some of my favourite calls!

Chronologically, from the earliest to the most recent.

me : call centre uber-girl
CG : crotchety gentleman

me : welcome to (undisclosed paint company) you're speaking with Sarah
CG : uhh yes the first sunday of the month- you can take paint in to the store?
me : hm sir you'd be best to check with the store as you've reached the after hours for the technical advice li--
CG : what? why can't you tell me! you SHOULD KNOW. The ALBANY store - you take paint in on the first sunday of the month ... ???
me : well we are here to pass on the contact details of stores, and their hours.
CG : ALBANY. the ALBANY store. we want to take the paint in.
me : okay the number is ***-**** ... but i don't think you can take the paint in there on the first sunday of the month-
CG : what are you saying !?! i thought you didn't know !?!
me : i know the store hours SIR and the albany store is always closed on sundays
CG : .... oh. lets see here ... ohhh WAIRAU PARK. it IS useful talking to you then !!
me : yes sir, have a nice day *headdesk*

The joys of having a common name:
Me : (growling) helloo?
MANAGER : Hi Sarah! wondering if you'd be interested in some extra hours today??
Me : uh john ? i'm in Auckland
MANAGER : Oh! guess you wouldn't be interested then.
Me : yea, not until after the 3rd (when i get back)
MANAGER : ... bu- i thought you'd been put on roster??
Me : (light dawning) oh, i think you've got the wrong Sarah, John, this is Sarah-Rose
MANAGER : Oh no blah blah blah dreadfully sorry.

people amuse me. they amuse me in a very aggravating way.
me : could i have the name of the recipient?
caller : ay?
me : the name of the recipient?
caller : is that where i wanna send it?
me : no, it's the name of the person who is recieving the bouquet
caller : that's what I said *click*

uh no, you said WHERE, i asked for WHO.

caller : i'd like to book in for the 12 ... 12 pm session ... 12 pm HA! that means midnight!!
me : well, no sir, 12am is midnight, 12 pm is noon
caller : hrmpf. we'll have to disagree on that one
me : sure

I just spoke to a most delightful lady who railed at me because I dared imply (And how is that spelled?) that there was more than one spelling to the surname pronounced SM-EYE-TH. Like Smithe and Smyth and Smythe.
I take over a hundred calls each day, I've had it spelled to me each and every way. Names which are homonymous are not neccessarily spelled the same, such as Mckay/Mckie.
Then of course, she pointed out to me in her most disdainful tone that there is a difference between spelling and ProNOUNCE-iation. ha.

A gentleman just called up the WEATHER SERVICE and wanted to know if there was DEFINITELY going to be no rain in christchurch tomorrow.
I told him that definitely is an interesting term to be used with meterology.

me : I'm sorry sir, we don't offer that service through this line but I can give you your local number if you'd like ...
caller : okay, great!
me : ........... I'll need your location sir
caller : (here is usually inserted a snort of derision) oh, WELL it's ********

me : and can i have your surname please?
caller : uh .... uh .... is that your last name?
TWICE. This has happened TWICE in ONE day.

me : can i have your address?
caller : is that your phone number ?
but that kid sounded 4 and adorable.

my boss just rang my phone (an internal call, at work)
boss : did i call you or did you call me?
me : ... uh you called me ...
boss : oh. i must have pushed a button ... there's some kind of call waiting on your phone

I just had a lady go OFF at me because she couldn't understand me. Apparently my "stupid british accent" was too strong for her to understand. This is after she has commented at least THREE times on how bad the line was.
Perhaps it could be the incredible buzzing and distortion on the line that is making it hard for you to understand me ???

me : welcome to ****** ****** ***********, you're speaking with Sarah
caller : hi, Michelle was it?

A caller (from the company who is our tech support for like, EVERYTHING WE USE HERE) just thought that I wouldn't know how to spell his company name, or his name, but that I would magically know that he was calling from Auckland.
The worst thing?
His name was BEN.

me : Welcome to the ********** of *********** recruitment line, you're speaking with Sarah.
caller : Yes, Hi, I'm calling about the Magna Pacific Leather Bag ...
me : I'm sorry? you've reached the ********** of *********** recruitment line, I think you have the wron-
caller : no, this is the number I've called for the Magna Pacific Leather Bag.
me : well, I'm sorry, all we can do on this line is have the ********** of *********** recruitment pack sent out.
caller : no dear, this IS the number to call to get this Magna Pacific Leather Bag so you'r going to-
me : No Ma'am I'm sorry but you really have reached the ********** of *********** recruitment line
caller : this is 0800 **1 **2
me : no ma'am this is 0800 **1 **1 (smirk)
caller : oh - (click)

caller : hey, uhm, I'm filling out this application and it says that I need a Class B drivers Licence ... but uh what if I don't have a licence?
me : well, if it says you need a Class B Licence, (pause) then you need a Class B Licence
caller : oh aye?
me : yea, sorry.

Me : Thanks for calling ****** ****** ***********, you're speaking with Sarah
Caller : Hi, Where are you? Where is your shop?
Me : uh, I'm in Wellington, Sir, our technicians are all over the country but they work oout of their vans.
Caller : So you don't have a shop there?
Me : No, just the office here, our techs work out of their vans.
Caller : oh but I'm looking to get some roller wheels ...
Me : Okay, well I can pass a message on to our technician in your area-
Caller : and I can go to his shop?
Me : No, sir. He works out of his van, he doesn't have a shop.
Caller : oh okay. Can I call him? What is his number?
Me : it is 0274 *** ***
Caller : oh, he doesn't have a landline?
Me : No sir, he works out of his Van.
Caller : oh okay, don't worry about it then. [click]
and then my head exploded.

Me : welcome to ****** ****** ***********, you're speaking with Sarah
Caller : oh yes, hi, I have a commercial aluminium window that has broken struts
Me : okay, well I can have the local tech give you a call and arrange to do that repair for you sir,
Caller : right well we're just down on the waterfront there.
Me: oh we're a nationwide company sir so which waterfront?
Caller : aye?
Me : the waterfront of which city sir? Auckland, Wellington, ...
Caller : Auckland, where are you?
Me : Wellington, sir, so-
Caller : oh Telling-Bone aye? you speak english down there?
Me : ...... excuse m-
Caller : you sound like you speak english ok heh heh heh
Me : oh-kay, well-
Caller : no no don't mind me, I'm just being rude, it's my right
Me : [deepening my voice dramatically] yes sir, you're allowed to be rude and I'm allowed to be annoyed. now can I-
Caller : ho ho! one all! good on ya,
Me : Can I get your name sir?
Caller : don't call me sir, that sets me off. Trevor ***
Me : thank you Trevor, can I get your address ...
And the rest of the call was actually really nice. He stopped being annoying and confrontational and became almost jovial, wishing me a very good day at the end.

caller : the company name is ****** Pro-nounce-iation *****
me : I'm sorry?
caller : ****** ProNOUNCEiation ****
me : ****** ... pro NOUNCE iation?
caller : yes.
me : ... and how are you spelling that?
caller : P-R-O-N-U-N-C-I-A-T-I-O-N
And then my head exploded.

Me : Good morning *******, Sarah-Rose speaking
Caller : Ah yes, can I just go through to the extension please?
Me : sorry, which extension were you after?
Caller : no no I want to go through the extension!
Me : yes, but WHICH extension
Caller : oh, just a second
rustle rustle rustle ... rustle rustle rustle ... rustle rustle
Caller : it's ****

in the middle of a call.
Me : And what title do you go by?
Caller : huh? oh! hah, I don't know, Bitch? ha
Me : uh
Caller : hah, no, uh Mrs.
Me : Hah, okay, thank you.
I was actually speechless!

After deciding that I will organise for an information pack to be sent to him :
Caller : Do you want the first name first or the second name first?
Me : First name first please sir!
Caller : Okay, Smith. S-M-I-T-H
Me : ... Okay and your surname?
Caller : That was the surname. And the first name is John. J-O-H-N
It's times like these that my head and hand feel magnetised.

Easiest call ever!
caller : so this part where it says Programme code? is that were I put the programme code?
me : yes
caller : and where it says Course name? is that were I put the course name?
me : ... yes.
caller : cool thanks
me : ... you're welcome ...

Co-worker : Desiree, that's such a stripper name
Me : ... That's my mother's name!
Co-Worker : Oh ... no! Really?
Me : yes! really! that's never happened to me in real life before.

Caller : so my name is Cassidy Ray
Me : okay ... Cassidy Ray ...
Caller : No no that's Cassidy Rain
Me : Cassidy Rain? right.
Caller : And that's all one name. My surname is ****
Me : Cassidy-Rain? ****?
Caller : And Cassidy's with a K.
Me (incredulous) : Kassidy-Rain? okay ...

Small Victories
talking to a lovely lady regarding a booking for her husband. She gives his surname as Baumgarten and I spell it to her and she replies yes and we move on to the next part of the conversation when I hear in the background a man with an american accent start yelling at her.
Mr Baumgarten : NO! You have to SPELL IT TO HER. B as in BOY, A as in APPLE ...
the phone goes silent and then he's on the line with me. And he's still yelling.
Mr Baumgarten : My Surname is B as in BOY-
Me : Yes sir, I'm aware of that. I spelt it out to the lady I was just speaking to and she confirmed that it was correct.
Mr Baumgarten : Oh. Well.
And he proceeded to be completely horrible for the rest of the call but I still felt a little vindicated.

Me: Welcome to ********, you're speaking with Sarah
Caller: Marmite Marmite Marmite
(click)
Me: What the ....



Interesting Names
(I always forget to note these down)

Female
Veeshayne
Wayna
Kassidy-Rain
Pathfinder
Pepsi
Sally Garden

Male
Celestin
Mr. A. Pauling
Coronation
Nathanial Fairweather
Falstaff

Names I have been called

Vera
Sharon
Karen
Sandra
Christine
Yvonne
Michelle
Cheryl

As of 2:30pm 3:30pm* I am now officially unemployed.
For the first time since I was ... 16? fun.
It also makes the trip seem very very close.

*heee! I covered for someone on my last day.

	Days to go
Finishing work	0 days
Leaving Wellington	10 days
Leaving New Zealand	17 days
Arriving Bangkok	31 days
Arriving London	50 days

Caller : Thanks Sandra! oops! I mean Sharon, sorry.
Me (Sarah) : ... That's fine. Thank you.