When I was 15 I wrote Future Sarah-Rose a letter. Two pages of A4 paper, single sided, coloured around the edges with red and purple pencil, in awkward cursive. It was folded ever so tiny, sellotaped in place and a seal (a SEAL) covered the join.
The outside read: Not to be opened until 2008.
I opened it last weekend.
Here's the thing. I remember having crazy ambitions, I remember being earnest and dream-filled and well, terrified of growing up. And the 25 year old me took a look at her immediate post-London life and felt terrified. Absolutely incapable of reading a 15 year old girl's hopes and dreams for her future. It took me a long time (and moving house) to bear looking at it.
And it was boring!
I was reasoned and rational at 15. I said that my chosen career was lawyer or actress or author or all three! and that I hoped I was at least working towards one or all of those goals (this was obviously before I realised that the entire reason I wanted to be a Lawyer was because of Matthew McConaughey in A Time to Kill, which is really just being an actress after all) and you know what? in my own little part-time, amateur kind of way, I feel that I am*. Of course at 15 I was not completely enamoured of photography, which just seems just completely foreign to me now.
And! I handily included my measurements. I haven't managed to unpack a measuring tape as yet (YES I AM STILL UNPACKING) and so I have no idea at all how different I am 11 years later. Quite, I'd imagine.
EDIT: it turns out (I found a measuring tape!) that I have the exact same waist measurement, and I am only 1-4 inches bigger around my bust and hips. Very strange.
What I was most interested in was what I thought, at 15, my lovelife would be like at 25. This was just a year or so before I met Craig (yes! we were 16 when we started dating. Just babies!) and at that time? I didn't even know he existed.
Strangely? because I always remember being wary of small children, I wrote that I wanted to be a mother at 24. TWENTY FOUR. Madness. I must have been a little drunk when I wrote the letter**. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had continued on with that STUPID STUPID goal. There would have been no London, that's for sure.
I did write that I hoped I had travelled. I wrote that I wanted to set foot on every continent (being sensible I excluded Antarctica and the Arctic) and I think I'm well on my way to that! Asia, Australia, Europe, America ... just missing Africa.
I ended the letter with horribly morbid thoughts about how I hope that I would still be alive to read the letter at 25 (26!), that my parents and sisters would still be alive (they are!), that I would still be in touch with my BFF, Petra (we are!), and that if I didn't do it regularly, I should make sure they know that I love them (they do!).
So it was not as scary as I thought. I am glad that I have a job which I currently enjoy, artistic pursuits which inspire me, a partner who I could never have dreamed of at 15, and many many stamps in my passport. And I'm glad I didn't read it last year.
Oh and I'm not going to bother transcribing the letter. It really was that boring. I am a little disappointed in myself.
* No I cannot elaborate. Part is work related WHICH I DO NOT DISCUSS and part is this darling little site.
** I wasn't. Just an idiot apparently.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
In the early early morning (read: 9am) Craig and I crept out of Tim's place and wandered around Osaka, just a little, to see what we could see and to find breakfast. And to hopefully not get lost.
We sat on the bank of a river (read: concrete stairs next to a river) and ate brioche, taro-flavoured donut, and orange juice. Watching cyclists pass us by & feeling delightfully out of place.
We made it back to Tim's (success!) and teamed up with some couchsurfers he was hosting (Tin-tin, Agatha, and Mark) and we all went out to Osaka Castle, Osaka-jō.
Ahh Mo-Vember, how I do NOT miss thee.
No. I do NOT know what the Iguana is about. But I like his kicky leash!
Yes. That dog is wearing SUNGLASSES.
Yes. To drive my darling Mother completely insane we bought skewered chicken cooked (ish) from a stall.
And we ATE it. It was delicious. And we didn't die.
After the Castle we went to a store called Don Quijote (not a misspelling BTW & yes that bugs me now) which was terrifying.
It's a discount chain store and was ... sensory overload. I couldn't even bring myself to take a photo. I was too busy.
And yes, they sell sex toys and yes I did look. But no, they weren't any stranger than in New Zealand. Or London.
I did however try to convince Craig to buy a kigurumi (a full body animal costume). He did not.
We made it back to Shinsaibashi Station and arranged to meet up with Tim & Mio for dinner. We wandered through the Dōtonbori area to look at the lights and the people who are just there to see and be seen.
Glico is the company who make Pocky!
Takoyaki (たこ焼き) is a the signature dish of Osaka. It's a dumpling made of batter, diced or whole baby octopus, tempura scraps (tenkasu), pickled ginger, and green onion, topped with okonomiyaki sauce, ponzu, mayonnaise, and katsuobushi (cuttlefish shavings).
I like squid, but octopus? it turns out, not so much. I can still remember the feeling of the little purple sucker on my tongue. Creepy.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
I spent the afternoon lying in the sun and reading an old old Agatha Christie novel.
I went to Kirkcaldie and Stains to pick up a christmas present and came away with this eyeshadow set in Sorceress as well. Oops. But I adore it.
I try and set out my outfit for the next day when I get home from work.
I set out my newly repaired grey-peplum skirt, vintage rhinestone necklace, and slip-of-a-thing watch.
My pile of books-to-read is becoming precarious.
BUT I just finished Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger and it was quite large so the situation is less dire.
A christmas present arrived at home. I flicked through it (CAREFULLY! No spine creases!) and I may have to keep it for myself.
I loved this quote too! I really like whoever it is that's choosing the quotes for Bennetts at the moment.
After a day of boring boring domestic stuff Craig and I went to my parents for a family barbecue and watching of Love Actually to kickstart the christmas spirit.
Next week will be even better - the third sister will be home (!), there is a tattoo appointment, and perhaps there will be christmas tree decorating. Perhaps.
The first sunburn of summer.