Saturday, March 06, 2010

Oh no, DimitySo!

It was a revelation the first time I wore a bra that fit properly.
Trinny & Susannah and their ilk blag on and on about how most women wear the wrong size bra and up until that moment (at home in our London flat, after a trip to, of all things, Primark) I'd thought they were exaggerating.
It was so surprising that I walked from our bedroom to the lounge, in my bra & jeans (the lovely flatmate S was not home) and told Craig. He was underwhelmed. But to me, everything I'd read about how bras are supposed to fit suddenly made sense.
I was a 12F/14E.
And life got a whole bunch more difficult.

Regular bras, the ones that cost under $50 and come in a range of colours, sizes, and materials only range from A-D. For years manufacturers have regarded cleavage above a D cup as something to be restrained, hidden away, regarded as suspicious, and swathed in acres of fabric.

UNTIL! Bendon brought out select few of their Elle Macpherson range in cup sizes above D. And I rejoiced. Then quickly wept because lord but fancy bras are expensive. Also, the cup still they crept up the bust centimetre by centimetre compared to their A-D doppelgängers. As if anything over a D cup is liable to jump out of the cup if anything akin to cleavage is shown. Heaven forbid you want to wear anything with a plunging neckline - they just don't make the bra for you.

I find it so ... infuriating. How dare these lingerie manufacturers dictate how low cut I wear my tops. How DARE they. If all of a sudden all tee-shirts were only cut to show the collar bone people would be incensed. And yet those of larger busts have allowed lingerie manufacturers to DICTATE our modesty. Just thinking about this makes me so angry I'm typing with tense claw hands. Our breasts are not all that hard to manage. They do not need to be completely covered by an undergarment - as long as the bottom half-plus-an-inch is well supported then they are not going to LEAP from the bra.
Do the manufacturers assume that I dislike my breasts? that I am ashamed of them & hide them away? Because I'm not and I do not. They're just breasts. They will not destroy the world*. Heaven forefend I should ever wish to wear a push up bra.

I was hunting for a low-cut E or F cut bra in any shop I could find. No luck. I even talked to the saleslady in Bendon who told me about this mythical new range of lingerie that they were releasing - DimitySO (hate the name) - which ONLY came in cup sizes D-J! I was so excited. A range of lingerie made specifically for my cup range (and then some), surely THEY would make the kind of bras I want to wear. Imagine my excitement when a couple of months later I noticed on my twitter feed the hashtag #DimitySO appended to what appeared to be a competition entry tweet.
I clicked frantically to their twitter page and sure enough they were giving away 3 sets of lingerie each day - all you had to do was send a message saying why you deserved free lingerie. The first day? I didn't win anything. The second day I quoted an oscar winning rap song and won!:

Dimity So Tweet

So, just under a month later, a package arrived at my office, it was the DimitySO lingerie! I was so so excited. But not so excited as to run to the office bathroom and try it on. I waited until this morning.



The lingerie is admittedly beautiful. In a strange grey shade which, according to their website, is actually "Brown / Aqua Gray" and seems very well made. The first thing I found amiss was that the back strap was very thick, the three hooks very widely spaced. This is a hallmark of the grandma-esque bras I and a similarly endowed friend abhor. Seriously, ABHOR. And I know that it's not a necessity as the Elle MacPherson bras I have purchased in an E or F cup do not suffer this surfeit of strap, some of them even only have two hooks. Less like an orthopaedic brace and more like a, oh I don't know, a BRA.

Then I put it on. Immediately I knew it would not be worn often, despite the quality. See, I have this mole on my left breast:


I love it. Along with the beauty mark just under my right nostril (Oo! This photo shows both of them! Convenient), and I wear the majority of my tops so that it is visible. Not BECAUSE I want to show it off, it just so happens that this mole marks the point just above where I find the neckline of a top to be most flattering for my figure - too far above OR below it and I appear even more top heavy (yes, covering them up does make them look bigger. I don't know why but I'm not going to fight it) which is frankly, annoying.
So, given the placement of neckline, the probability of material on material slippage, and because people peer, I prefer my bra cups to finish at the most about 5cm or so below the mole. Believe me when I say that my breasts are still ... very well contained at this point. Anyway, I have elaborated enough.

My point with this ENTIRE screed of writing about breasts (hi there, men in my family who read this, sorry!) is that the DimitySO Bra?
Seriously. Not by a lot, but still, it was covered. I realised I would have to change out of it if I wanted to wear the tee-shirt I was planning to wear (this one) to the Martinborough fair. After I had put it the bra on and picked my jaw back up off the floor, I turned to Craig and said it has huge grandma cups! and he, the sweetest man in the world, who avoids saying anything bad about anything I'm wearing or considering wearing (this is sometimes the most annoying thing in the world) just said yea, yea they are.

It is the "Diamond Affair" bra and, having a look through their collection, it does seem to be one of the higher cut cups. But I am just so so disappointed. I expected so much more. But I will be checking out the range instore at some point - when I can face the disappointment.
A grandma-esque bra made in fancy colours and fabrics is still a grandma-esque bra, DimitySO, remember that.

Also? would it KILL you to make a bra for plunging necklines? Cheers.

EDITED: Just to clarify - my vitriol of paragraph 4 is not directed at DimitySO, rather at the current general large-cup-bra maelstrom.

* In addition? I will not implode with shame and self loathing, or cower in fear, if someone dares to look at them. So what? they're there, and they are simply secondary sex characteristics. Big fucking whoop. GAH.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

So many unguents, so little time.

I used to wash my face with plain soap, smear on some plain moisturiser & bing bang boom (well just bing bang really)* I was done. It was so simple, so easy.

Now I use two different face washes, I use jojoba oil & moisturiser on my face, I apply lucas' pawpaw ointment to scars, lip balm to lips, and a different moisturiser each for my legs & hands.

In the mornings ... oh don't even get me started. More moisturiser, sunscreen, face primer, and then makeup.
It's not really all that much. I wear surprisingly little makeup compared to, well, other people and yet, the sheer volume compared to say 2006 (when I could barely even apply foundation - now I'm a have favourite brands and products (MAC for most things, diorshow mascara, YSL touche eclat) is astounding.

So many unguents, so little time. I find it exhausting sometimes.

But I am 26 & a third and yet I'm still regularly id-ed as being under 18 so it can't be all bad, right?

* I still miss Gilmore Girls.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Park Place Vignettes: Nightmare Edition

Huge House Spider

This spider was in our house. IN OUR HOUSE.
It made me stop short & say in a VERY SERIOUS VOICE Jesus H. Christ which of course panicked Craig just a little.

Huge House Spider

It is officially the biggest spider I have ever seen in New Zealand & in our house.
(I have seen bigger spiders - in Tahiti, Thailand, & Australia)
Also? that's a large pen. Not, say, a biro..

Huge House Spider

I took the photos then allowed Craig to kill it. When I vacuumed it up later, it was large enough to clatter up the hose.

p.s. apologies to arachnophobes!
p.p.s. I hate them too. I promise. The photos are something like ... watching a horror movie for me. Brrr.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Week Nine

The Week in Photographs

Sunday: Cider & Tudors
A relaxing Sunday afternoon - with Cider and the Tudors.

Monday: Excavating
We came home from work to find a pool on our kitchen floor and a slightly defrosted freezer. Craig took the opportunity to ... spatula out the excess frost.
It's all we can expect from a $50 fridge/freezer.

Tuesday: Jewellery Challenge
After another day of wearing my pyramid stud earrings, zelda fitzgerald ring, diamond horseshoe necklace, and chunky chain bracelet I decided that I needed to get out of my jewellery rut. So I put the aforementioned in a special box and challenged myself to wear completely different jewellery on Wednesday,

Wednesday: Walking Home
My darling husband had to work late. So I caught the train and then walked up the hill. It was really quite lovely, golden hour with the sun at my back.

Thursday: Lunch Break
Strange strange weather. Pouring with rain when we left home in the morning but by midday it was blazing sun.

Friday: Creepy Lollipop
I donated to cancer research and received this lollipop in return. I find his little printed face and overalls inestimably creepy.

Saturday: Grammar Nazi
Craig and I went to an exhibition (or 3) at Te Papa then went for a walk along the waterfront.
I loved that someone had corrected this sign!