Trinny & Susannah and their ilk blag on and on about how most women wear the wrong size bra and up until that moment (at home in our London flat, after a trip to, of all things, Primark) I'd thought they were exaggerating.
It was so surprising that I walked from our bedroom to the lounge, in my bra & jeans (the lovely flatmate S was not home) and told Craig. He was underwhelmed. But to me, everything I'd read about how bras are supposed to fit suddenly made sense.
I was a 12F/14E.
And life got a whole bunch more difficult.
Regular bras, the ones that cost under $50 and come in a range of colours, sizes, and materials only range from A-D. For years manufacturers have regarded cleavage above a D cup as something to be restrained, hidden away, regarded as suspicious, and swathed in acres of fabric.
UNTIL! Bendon brought out select few of their Elle Macpherson range in cup sizes above D. And I rejoiced. Then quickly wept because lord but fancy bras are expensive. Also, the cup still they crept up the bust centimetre by centimetre compared to their A-D doppelgängers. As if anything over a D cup is liable to jump out of the cup if anything akin to cleavage is shown. Heaven forbid you want to wear anything with a plunging neckline - they just don't make the bra for you.
I find it so ... infuriating. How dare these lingerie manufacturers dictate how low cut I wear my tops. How DARE they. If all of a sudden all tee-shirts were only cut to show the collar bone people would be incensed. And yet those of larger busts have allowed lingerie manufacturers to DICTATE our modesty. Just thinking about this makes me so angry I'm typing with tense claw hands. Our breasts are not all that hard to manage. They do not need to be completely covered by an undergarment - as long as the bottom half-plus-an-inch is well supported then they are not going to LEAP from the bra.
Do the manufacturers assume that I dislike my breasts? that I am ashamed of them & hide them away? Because I'm not and I do not. They're just breasts. They will not destroy the world*. Heaven forefend I should ever wish to wear a push up bra.
I was hunting for a low-cut E or F cut bra in any shop I could find. No luck. I even talked to the saleslady in Bendon who told me about this mythical new range of lingerie that they were releasing - DimitySO (hate the name) - which ONLY came in cup sizes D-J! I was so excited. A range of lingerie made specifically for my cup range (and then some), surely THEY would make the kind of bras I want to wear. Imagine my excitement when a couple of months later I noticed on my twitter feed the hashtag #DimitySO appended to what appeared to be a competition entry tweet.
I clicked frantically to their twitter page and sure enough they were giving away 3 sets of lingerie each day - all you had to do was send a message saying why you deserved free lingerie. The first day? I didn't win anything. The second day I quoted an oscar winning rap song and won!:
So, just under a month later, a package arrived at my office, it was the DimitySO lingerie! I was so so excited. But not so excited as to run to the office bathroom and try it on. I waited until this morning.
The lingerie is admittedly beautiful. In a strange grey shade which, according to their website, is actually "Brown / Aqua Gray" and seems very well made. The first thing I found amiss was that the back strap was very thick, the three hooks very widely spaced. This is a hallmark of the grandma-esque bras I and a similarly endowed friend abhor. Seriously, ABHOR. And I know that it's not a necessity as the Elle MacPherson bras I have purchased in an E or F cup do not suffer this surfeit of strap, some of them even only have two hooks. Less like an orthopaedic brace and more like a, oh I don't know, a BRA.
Then I put it on. Immediately I knew it would not be worn often, despite the quality. See, I have this mole on my left breast:
I love it. Along with the beauty mark just under my right nostril (Oo! This photo shows both of them! Convenient), and I wear the majority of my tops so that it is visible. Not BECAUSE I want to show it off, it just so happens that this mole marks the point just above where I find the neckline of a top to be most flattering for my figure - too far above OR below it and I appear even more top heavy (yes, covering them up does make them look bigger. I don't know why but I'm not going to fight it) which is frankly, annoying.
So, given the placement of neckline, the probability of material on material slippage, and because people peer, I prefer my bra cups to finish at the most about 5cm or so below the mole. Believe me when I say that my breasts are still ... very well contained at this point. Anyway, I have elaborated enough.
My point with this ENTIRE screed of writing about breasts (hi there, men in my family who read this, sorry!) is that the DimitySO Bra?
IT COVERED THE MOLE.
Seriously. Not by a lot, but still, it was covered. I realised I would have to change out of it if I wanted to wear the tee-shirt I was planning to wear (this one) to the Martinborough fair. After I had put it the bra on and picked my jaw back up off the floor, I turned to Craig and said it has huge grandma cups! and he, the sweetest man in the world, who avoids saying anything bad about anything I'm wearing or considering wearing (this is sometimes the most annoying thing in the world) just said yea, yea they are.
Agony.
It is the "Diamond Affair" bra and, having a look through their collection, it does seem to be one of the higher cut cups. But I am just so so disappointed. I expected so much more. But I will be checking out the range instore at some point - when I can face the disappointment.
A grandma-esque bra made in fancy colours and fabrics is still a grandma-esque bra, DimitySO, remember that.
Also? would it KILL you to make a bra for plunging necklines? Cheers.
EDITED: Just to clarify - my vitriol of paragraph 4 is not directed at DimitySO, rather at the current general large-cup-bra maelstrom.
* In addition? I will not implode with shame and self loathing, or cower in fear, if someone dares to look at them. So what? they're there, and they are simply secondary sex characteristics. Big fucking whoop. GAH.
i also love how their range is from 8 - 16. im sure they could have found an extra few inches of fabric and gone up to a 22 or something.
ReplyDeleteit blows my mind how they will make a range for all the 8g's out there (of which i am sure there a millions) but not a 20d.
I have the same, er, issue as you. The only thing more infuriating than hardly ever finding bras in my size (I'm a 10G) is the fact that the ones I do find appear to be time-warped out of the 1950s.
ReplyDeleteI went down to my local Bendon the day DimitySO came out... and I was so very disappointed. (I'd been hoping so much for a pretty bra!) The DimitySO bras are really impractical - there are ruches and pleats and details that don't sit well under clothing.
Worse, they fit badly. They fit like a B-cup bra that's simply been scaled larger. The, erm, engineering is all wrong. In several I could see the cup fabric stretching as though it wasn't strong enough - something I'd expect after a year, but not in the changing room.
I think the most vexing thing is that Bendon has identified such an epic market opportunity and stuffed it up so badly.
Anyway, if you're ever up in Auckland, there are a couple of bra shops here that cater specifically to the well-endowed. Most of their stuff is ridiculously ugly, but they carry plunge bras (!!!) which I live in. (Seriously, this makes no sense to me: large-breasted women need to wear low-cut clothing. Yet there are probably more purple elephants in the world than demi-cup bras over a size C. WTF?)
Brilliant simply brilliant post. As a DD I don't have a much of a problem, because many ranges have expanded their line to include this size (in fact a problem I have is that a lot of the time this size is often quite sparse)
ReplyDeleteI've seen the range advertised and am going to check it out, hopefully maybe some of it is better, but going by your review it seems that there is not going to be much of a WOW factor.
Hi Sarah - Rose. Ironically I was a winner the same day as you, got mine on Friday last week and am really happy with it. Maybe Bendon would be so kind as to let you do a swapsy if the tags are still attached etc? Anyway,I was more writing to let you know that I too did up a little blog post, to which I have linked to this post, so hope that is okay? Let me know if you would prefer to have the link removed.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - while I see your point, DimitySO have said from the outset that they are designing for those with large busts and small backs.
ReplyDeleteRebekah - ahh. Such a shame. I haven't tried on any other DimitySO bras as yet so can't comment on the fit (despite the annoyingly high cup, the one I received felt quite comfortable) but I did see some in store (no time to try on) and I see your point about the pleats and there was even one with a ginormous bow on it! But I like silly lingerie (and so does Craig) so I think of those as the special occasion ones while the other ones are more every day.
Charlie - D or DD was what I used to think I was (have you been measured?) but while I think the cups are too big/high, overall I think their bras are beautiful - and the cups certainly look smaller on the models!
Brumby - coincidence! I'm glad you like your bra. I would feel horrible approaching Bendon when it was a prize, and I will probably find a top or two to wear it with, as I do think it's beautiful and it seems comfortable. Linking to my post is absolutely fine (well, at the moment it is, I'll let you know if it changes) and I'll check out your post as well!
Anonymous: in my experience it isn't hard to find large cup sizes in large band sizes. Manufacturers seemingly have long thought it logical that such sizes would be in demand. But trying to find a large cup-sized bra to fit a small frame is near impossible, and small people can and do have breasts of all shapes and sizes. People often don't realise that cup sizes are scaled according to the band size. The cup-size of a 8G would be physically the same as a 10F or a 12E or a 14DD or a 16D and so on (deduct one cup size per band).
ReplyDeleteSarah-Rose: Thanks for sharing, I can definitely relate to your frustration finding options in your size. When I shop for lingerie I usually start by going to the counter and asking what the store has in a 10E/F. Normally there is next to nothing. Kirkaldies probably has the best range in Welly (as in 4 or 5 options) but often I have to order my size in. Once I've found a bra I like I order it repeatedly from bras.co.nz (which conveniently allows you to search by size). But I don't like wearing plunging necklines and I always go for maximum support. I hate wobbling and I like to be able to run and go down stairs without having to hold myself down. Large breasts are heavy and can cause back pain, and over time I have learned to dress for comfort. I find anything without 3 hooks does not offer enough support, and likewise ordinary narrow straps cut in to my shoulders so I go for broader ones. So perhaps DimitySO will work for me, although I'm yet to find much beyond sports bras that give me enough support. I just don't think you can scale up a bra that was designed for a A-B-C cup and expect it to work the same way for a plus-size. The physics is completely different.
On a related note, trying to find a SWIMSUIT is worse than finding a bra. Why is it that swimsuit manufacturers seem to think that women who usually require a bra will be fine without any support whatsoever when at the beach? Why don't swimsuits come in cup-sizes as standard? A 10A and a 10G are not going to fit the same bikini. I have never found a swimsuit in New Zealand in my size.