It feels like a million but it was only two years and nine months ago that I posted my 2009 birthday wish list. I came across this by accident and I realised something surprising.
I was hoping for:
This beautiful copy of The Bell Jar, Protea charm & Protea ring by Meadowlark, Cupcakes (!), Peonies, the permission for Craig and I to live in the UK for as long as we like, beautiful underwear, a Kodak Duaflex vintage camera, St Paul's Cathedral back in my life, a traditional peony tattoo, a black retro-style scooter, Chloe Sevigny for Open Ceremony Wedges, Meadowlark pyramid stud bangles, a Marc by Marc Jacobs bag in a berry berry hue.
And two years, nine months later? honest to anything, it would be easier to list the items I do not have. I do not own that copy of The Bell Jar, I do not have a black retro-style scooter, my Chloe Sevigny for Open Ceremony Wedges are Jeffrey Campbell knock-offs but besides that? The permission to live in the UK was really just the best.
I was surprised. I am a fortunate fortunate person.
It was nice to remember that.
(It hasn't been two years nine months of presents, it has been two years, nine months of working hard and saving harder. And a couple of presents)
2011 was a year with a lot of up, a lot of down, and quite a bit of in between.
In 2011 Craig and I said goodbye to the Hutt Valley for city living in Wellington. We travelled to Hawaii and not much of anywhere else. Work was both stressful and fulfilling, full of sound and fury, culminating in ... not a lot. My family expanded by one when my baby sister got married. Full family dinners are now a table of eight. I am skinnier, richer, happier, and more complicated than ever before. I made new friends, kept old ones, and made the most of living in town.
Best of all, best of all, I became an Irish citizen.
In 2011 I resolved to: x be more frugal - yes? yes. x maintain the healthy-ish lifestyle I managed in 2010 - yes. x declutter - oh yes. x take a photo every damn day - yes! yet again. I missed two self-portraits though. x keep percolating this tattoo idea. - yes! and uh ... also yes.
I am ever so excited about 2012: x Europe* x a new job** x taking a photo every damn day x new tattoos***
Let's see how it goes. I can't wait!
first and last
* in April Craig and I are, leave from work notwithstanding, heading to Europe for a month. ** fingers crossed. I have leads and plans. *** I have plans for two in 2012. I've managed to make it onto the list for one of my wishlist artists. I cannot wait.
2010 was a year with a lot of up, a lot of down, but mainly a lot of in between.
Visas for London swam into reach, then just out of reach, and finally? gone. Completely. But I'm okay with that now (mainly). There was the day-and-a-half where I was fired and all the associated work drama which I do not discuss on the internet - except to say that I am much happier now. Craig and I didn't manage to leave New Zealand but planned our January trip back to Hawaii. I made all 365 days of photography! But felt uninspired a lot of the time.
However, one can only enter a new year with high hopes. I had them for 2010 and I have them for 2011.
In 2011 I will: x be more frugal x maintain the healthy-ish lifestyle I managed in 2010 x declutter x take a photo every damn day x keep percolating this tattoo idea. If I am still enamoured of it in May? It will be mine.
In 2011 I am looking forward to: x Hawaii x Summer Shakespeare x Working hard x Photography
This afternoon I had a little too much caffeine and a lot of time on my hands. Actually, it was the other way around but that is hardly the point. The point IS that I have compiled a list of things of which I do not approve. Are you excited? I'm excited.
THINGS OF WHICH I DO NOT APPROVE: 1. Discussion of Golf. Unless it is "Golf is very very boring and I hate it a great deal. With the annoying pants and polo shirts and general tubbiness of the players" in which case, I both concur and approve. 2. Surface piercings. They make me shudder. 3. CBT*. 4. The phrase "so, you know" being used as a verbal space-filler 5. That I have a bottle of Pinot Noir in the cupboard. I do NOT like red wine especially when it's in the same kind of bottle as one of my favourite white wines. TEASE. 6. That my favourite co-worker is away. 7. Mesclun lettuce. 8. My fringe being too long, my hair being too faded, and my nailpolish being chipped. ALL ON THE SAME DAY. There are not enough hours. 9. Being sensible and responsible and grown up. 10. Glee.
*DO NOT GOOGLE THAT. JUST BELIEVE ME. Also. I left the do not google warning all the way down the bottom here just to mess with you. Hee.
x One Flesh by Fiona Samuel.* x A lambskin leather bag which is in the ether, somewhere on its way to me** x 50 shots of Instax Mini film. Unopened. x Bottles and bottles of V in the cupboard.*** x Present ideas for my mother and sister. x WhatsApp letting me chat international-style with my favourite Katrinka. x Craigageddon.**** x Tattoo consultation with with my favourite Petra. x The subsequent tattoo!*****
* Rehearsal number 3 is tonight! ** 82% discounted! *** My caffeinated beverage of choice (sugar free). **** Sir C's hair metal birthday bash. I have a guns and roses tee and he has leopard print leggings! Oh there WILL be photos. ***** All will be revealed! Eventually.
I thought 2008 was hard. I was certain that 2009 would bring resolution but all all all it has brought is more of the same holding pattern. 2009 was hard.
One year ago today I wrote of dreams for 2009. I had magnificent plans to backpack around Europe on my way to living in London again, of spending a white christmas in London and then New Years in Edinburgh. Instead Craig and I are still holding on and waiting to hear about our last chance hope to live in London, we didn't backpack around Europe, our Christmas was most definitely not white, and we are in Auckland, New Zealand for New Years.
We did, however, manage to save a lot of money this year, money which will make either moving back to London or a longlong backpacking trip much more attainable, we moved into Park Place and while it is furnished with seconds and old old bits and pieces, I think it looks lovely. We have bought a car, the first car Craig has ever really properly purchased (the two cars he has driven have been hand-me-downs and then there was the project car but that one doesn't really count) and it is little and red and has a turbo and Craig adores it. Which is completely adorable in and of itself. We have jobs which we do not abhor and mine (WHICH I DO NOT DISCUSS ON THE INTERNET) is taking an interesting and potential career type path. And we did manage to travel. There were trips to Auckland, Dunedin, and Christchurch, as well as (of course) Japan.
2009 Resolution Roundup x Project 365 lives anew! - Success! 364 photos taken x Project 52, take 2, electric boogaloo. - Success! - 52 self portraits taken x Celebrate my wedding anniversary. - Success! Picnic in the park where our wedding photos were taken. x Acquire at least two new tattoos before June 15th 2009 and hopefully 3 by December 31st 2009. - Hmm. 1 in March, 1 in August (not before June!), and 1 in December. So sort of a success. x PhotoBooks! - Oops. Forgot completely about this one. x Dress up more! - Success! I love the way I dressed in the second half of this year. x Quality over quantity. - Success! x (as always ...) Try to be happier. - Hard to gauge.
It's funny, this was the first year where I did not include some allusion to weight loss or being healthier in my resolutions. And, know what? I've lost 16kg (35lbs) this year, I no longer add salt to my food (this should startle my family), and I exercise regularly. I have gone from a size 14-16 to a size 8-10-12 (depending on the store & clothing) and I feel 110% better about myself. Suffice it to say that I will not be including it in my 2010 resolutions either.
And so, I'm not going to make sweeping or specific declarations about what 2010 will hold. It will hopefully include travel, hopefully a decision about London, hopefully much happiness. Hopefully hopefully hopefully. Perhaps next Christmas will be white. Perhaps it will be in New Zealand with a my-mother's-side-of-the-family reunion. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.
2010 Resolutions x Project 365 continues (and aim for 365 this year) x Project 52 again. Try to be more adventurous/imaginative with self-portraiture x Wear lipstick more often x Budget to make it to the movies, in an actual theatre, at least once a month. x Be nicer to my hair & skin x PhotoBooks - starting with 365 in 2009. x Pay off my credit card. x Quality over quantity. - Save for and purchase the B for Boleyn necklace by Wendy Brandes. x (as always ...) Try to be happier.
Dearest, darling, birthday month, you come but once a year. This year you are a whirl of unpredictable weather, changeable work circumstances, a frenzy of lines and planning and travel and moving and oh, exhaustion. I expect. I anticipate. I prognosticate*. But knowing what I have scribbled into my diary? gives me the benefit of foresight.
I enjoyed my fanciful wishlist collage last year** and so? here is the collage du jour, collage 2009:
This beautiful copy of The Bell Jar, Protea charm & Protea ring by Meadowlark, Cupcakes (!), Peonies, the permission for Craig and I to live in the UK for as long as we like, beautiful underwear, a Kodak Duaflex vintage camera, St Paul's Cathedral back in my life, a traditional peony tattoo, a black retro-style scooter, Chloe Sevigny for Open Ceremony Wedges, Meadowlark*** pyramid stud bangles, a Marc by Marc Jacobs bag in a berry berry hue.
Not pictured: A French Bulldog, a Nissan Figaro (!), photography prints to sell (and people to purchase them), the ability to whistle, a trip to Paris, gladiator sandals, and the Oxford English Dictionary.
p.s. this year I have manymany hours of work followed by manymany hours of rehearsal on my birthday. And more work the day after. And rehearsal half the weekend. It makes me tired just thinking about it.
* Sidebar! Because a word is obscure does not mean that it shouldnot be used. If you understand the meaning and proper usage then I think I should be aloowed to use it. It bugs me ever so much when people tilt their heads**** when I make use of my extensive vocabulary.
** Following on from last years list? Sir C gave me a PoGo, only to find that the paper is not stocked in NZ, my zelda fitzgerald heirloom ring, and an ice cream cake (he is a lovely lovely man), mes parents assembled my charm bracelet (all London, all the time), and in the year since I have also acquired (my obsessions rarely wane) a large Moleskine diary, a traditional rose 1/4 sleeve tattoo (or near enough), MAC makeup, and a large fuchsia flower pin.
*** Meadowlark meadowlark meadowlark. I just adore their work.
**** Examples from the last few days: Behoove. Misanthropy. Prognosticate. Ire.
Halfway through packing up our room, I looked over at the pile of sunglasses on my bookshelf and uh ... I thought I had two or three pairs. But no. More like ten. I don't really break sunglasses. Or maybe I do, but I have so many pairs to begin with that I don't notice. No, that's unlikely. I would notice.
That being said ... my collection begins with a broken pair
I broke my sunglasses travelling through Thailand. I coped for maybe two days? Until we reached the seaside town of Krabi and the sun and the sand and the glare? I lasted 2 minutes outside before I declared that we had to stop at the very first stall we came to in order to buy me a freaking pair of glasses.
So yes. Very fake Christian Dior sunglasses from Thailand. May 2007
Travelling to New Zealand while earning ££? I bought my first pair of fancy sunglasses.
December 2007
In a store in New Zealand I found Ray-Ban style sunglasses with swallows instead of the little diamonds. Just like the Kate Moss for Topshop pair. Double faux. January 2008
Chanel inspired sunglasses by the ever fabulous Primark. (a better shot here.) April 2008
Stella McCartney sunglasses - found 75% off at TK Maxx in London. September 2008
Beautiful Witchery sunglasses from my in-laws, Christmas 2008.
My Silver Monobrow pair just amuse me. Martinborough Fair 2009
I finally gave in and bought a pair of Faux-Bans. March 2009
I have banned myself from buying any more sunglasses. I need to break a couple of pairs first.
P.s. Not a single pair have my prescription in them. Which means they are useless unless I'm wearing my contacts. Oy. I might have to buy a pair of those. P.p.s. I also seem to suit most styles of sunglasses. This frustrates my baby sister. I even had aviators at one stage.
My darling sister is AT THIS MOMENT* somewhere between Hong Kong and Auckland.
She is coming home to attend our grandmother's funeral (we pick her up tomorrow morning!**) and because she is an adorable little inconvenience Craig and I have had to relegate our luxurious dressing room slash upstairs lounge to her, I presume, bag full of dirty laundry (she has been gone for some months now) and sleepy little head.
As such I have had to remove all my day to day necessities from that room and place them strategically around the room Craig and I currently inhabit. (It is frankly distressing how much I consider to be "necessities"***). Oh, he will just lovelovelove it when I turn the light on at 5:30am to straighten my hair, he normally sleeps until after 6:20am. Silly man.
I am finding this to be an incredibly boring job. And! Noone else is home to notice just how ridiculously lazy I am being so, in the last hour alone I have:
1. Watched 3 makeup tutorials on youtube. 2. Synced my iPhone so I have new podcasts to listen to while I get on with cleaning (ha). 3. Iced my cupcake tattoo using a fuchsia sharpie. 4. Reshaped my eyebrows (hooray for makeup tutorials) 5. Spent too too long on Twitter. 6. Realised my list was much longer than 140 characters. 7. Decided to post on this darling website! 8. Written this extraordinarily pointless post. 9. Sigh. Decided to actually tidy the room.
* I'm guessing. ** New Zealand Winter Time starts tonight. We might show up an hour early or an hour late or just on time. Who can say? *** Copper Boom!
2008 was not the best year for my little Darling family. It involved dreams put on hold, disappointments, far too much materialism, moving back to New Zealand, and, for me at least, a constant struggle to stay afloat.
But truly? I am blessed. Craig and I are stronger than ever. I have found a city where the daily walk to work can make me grin like a lunatic. I have goals to work for, personally and professionally. I see inspiration more clearly and I am excited for the year(s!) to come.
2009 is the year of words and photographs, tattoos and travel. Applying for visas and living with our fingers crossed. Backpacking around Europe, Christmas in London, New Years (one year from today) in Edinburgh. Perhaps trips to Tokyo or Hong Kong, Bruges, and Iceland.
In 2009 I am excited about planning for 2010. Sitting in a cafe with Sir C and discussing our life in London. Our trips for 2009 and how to achieve our goals for 2010. Olympics and intense round-the-world travel. Celebrating a decade of S&C the relationship with a luxury trip to Hawaii, and a family reunion at Christmas-time.
The future is a wonderful thing.
BUT! Capital letters, exclamation point. 2009 will be our year, the beginning, I can feel it in the wind.
My Darling Resolutions
x Project 365 lives anew! In 2008 I kept it up until about September (I know!) but barely ever posted the photos. In 2009 I will post My Week In Photos every Sunday evening. x Project 52, take 2, electric boogaloo. I will try and include a self-portrait in each Sunday-Summation. x Hmm. Name to be decided! Every Wednesday (or Monday, I haven't decided!) I will profile an online store or an online item that I lovelovelove but cannot purchase. This will be torture but Mummy-Darling has been wanting me to fill her in on how I can shop so much online. Through this medium I shall introduce her to the wonder of Etsy,
And finally, personally, my own little darling resolutions
x Celebrate my wedding anniversary. In 2008 it was spent in LAX which was simply depressing. x Acquire at least two new tattoos before June 15th 2009 and hopefully 3 by December 31st 2009. x PhotoBooks! In 2008 I did print photos, and the photo mobile in the upstairs lounge is one of my treasures but I want photo books of our travels. x Christmas 2009 will be spent in London. WILL. x Dress up more! I am already over-dressed for the Hutt Valley but who cares? x Quality over quantity. 2009 will be the year where I try to curb my expenditure. If Craig and I are hoping to BOTH move back to London AND spend a month backpacking (ish) around Europe then we need to save a serious amount of money. x (as always ...) Try to be happier.
P.s. I did take the moustaches and they were a big hit.
