... I think I recognise this handwriting ...

Dear The Internet;

Please excuse Sarah and Craig for their absences of late, and those that are without doubt, to occur in the very near future.

See, they are very very busy people, what with the working all the time and saving money and driving and walking, and eating and tv watching and general staying-alive-ness. On top of all that they decided it would be an Exciting! and Fun! idea to sign up to become Bartenders. Sorry, that's Bar/Wait -people (even though it was only ever advertised as a BAR course, but that's something completely different that makes Sarah's Head Explode™) and this bar course takes place from 6pm until 10pm (approximately) the first three nights of the week, two weeks in a row. This means that the Exciting! and Fun! idea causes Sarah and Craig to be out of the house from 7 in the morning until about 10:30 in the evening.

Now, generally going to bed at 11pm is not uncommon in the Burkes House, but more often than not it is preceeded by at least a couple of hours of lying in front of the heater and tv and not with travel and making drinks and concentrating and cleaning. Cleaning is actually far more tiring than watching tv it seems.

On top of all that! they are still sans l'ordinateur (that is to say, without a computer) at their place of residence. Which makes it hard for Sarah to string even two thoughts together to make even the semblance of an entry (generally it only takes two thoughts anyway, one of which is "I really should write an entry"). This Exciting! and Fun! idea has now made Sarah so tired that this morning she felt entirely nauseated. Which is surprisingly uncommon for 6am Sarah.

After the second week of the course Craig and Sarah are then going into hiding for a weekend. Ssh. They will let you know much much more upon their return.
Hopefully by then Sarah will have a computer that she can use to post her photographs. She has a 256MB Memory Card full of photos just waiting to be seen.

So, Again, Sorry for the absences, but you have to admit ... it's a pretty good excuse.

Sincerely,

Magical thinking (but vaguely terrifying none the less)

a very drunk very old man showed up at our back door late last night.
I say late, but it was ... about 8? but it was black as pitch outside.

He didn't quite get that he had the wrong house until he saw me over Craig's shoulder (I say shoulder but really I mean the bend in his elbow. I couldn't see over Craig's shoulder) and he waved drunkenly and scampered off.

I was vaguely terrified because he didn't turn on our security lights as he left, and they turn on when even a kitten crosses their path.
Craig swears that he saw him going up the side of the house, but I couldn't see him.
Poor drunken man, either that or he was a leprechaun.

3 Things. Only One Of Which Is Serious.

1. I have a severe craving for soup. Specifically Chicken Noodle Soup. My craving is so bad that I am considering breaking out my emergency work soup (chinese chicken and sweet corn with distressing croutons that I consider icebergs to be avoided) on my next break at work. I'm also wondering if I can cope the final 40 minutes until my break without said soup.
EDIT : I have had the soup and the soup was good (yea verily). It lived up to my craving expectations. Probably because I scooped out most of the croutons and the creepy freeze-dried corn kernals.

2. Sometimes I get a frisson of fear (allllliteration) about moving to London. I checked with Craig and he gets the same thing too. Luckily never really at the same time so the fear gets cancelled out. But the fear is about doing something totally new, living somewhere totally new, getting a job that is not in the food service industry or in a call centre. And the fear is eclipsed by excitement naturellement. (oh! proximity to Paris! I am too too excited)

3. I think I have, in a very loose, hypochondriac-al way, Anomic Aphasia (Anomic Aphasia is characterized by an inability to recall proper names and names of objects. Speech is fluent and grammatical.) because I seem to be completely incapable of saying or writing the word Burrito without very specifically thinking about it. And just to be annoying, it is one of our favourite meals.

As such at least once a week we have a conversation which goes :
Sarah : Hey babylove! what d'you want to have for dinner?
Craig : I don't know, what do you want?
Sarah : I was thinking enchil-FUCK! burritos.

or, in this also very common scenario, Craig is much more amused
Sarah : Hey babylove! what d'you want to have for dinner?
Craig : I don't know, what do you want?
Sarah : I was thinking enchiladas.
Craig : enchiladas?
Sarah : yea ... oh damnitall. Burritos.

In fact, a couple of months ago Craig and I were in the supermarket and we were approaching the mexican-food section, so I was getting ready and preparing myself to say Burritos ...
Sarah : ooh, get enchilada mix
Craig : ok
(See, he hears me say it so often that sometimes he'll ignore it.)
At this point I'm looking at Craig and waiting for him to acknowledge how for once I said... the right ...
Sarah : oh fuck! I said it again didn't I!?
I completely didn't notice. I thought I'd said Burritos.

An E-mail for my Husband

Darling dear,
seeing as how there is now only ONE sleep until your birthday (and the fact that I just found the site) I felt I should tell you which rock artists you share your birthday with :
Patrick Dalheimer (Live) (1971)
Tom Morello (Rage Against The Machine) (1964)
Topper Headon (The Clash) (1955)


On the other hand, I share my birthday with :
Steve Perry (Cherry Poppin' Daddies) (1963)
Cliff Adams (Kool & The Gang) (1952)
Robert "Kool" Bell (Kool & The Gang) (1950)
Tony Wilson (Hot Chocolate) (1947)
Ray Royer (Procol Harum) (1945)


not as cool. or uh ... Kool as the case may be

kisses
Sarah-Rose

It amuses me inordinately ...

So apparently Craig's friends had money on when I would get pregnant.

The last person in the pool had FOUR MONTHS after the wedding, a date which passed 12 days ago.

They really don't know me at all.


And on a completely unrelated note, Craig and I have just reached 50% in our London Fund! only another grand to go before we start talking to travel agents.

How My Jealousy Manifests Itself (in email form)

Craig
HAY BABY
i printed those things
you know the part in danny bhoys show when he crossed his arms and was like "this better be good" mocking someone in the audience

Sarah
yessss I know the part you're talking about ...
I just don't know what you're mentioning it for ... are you looking at my and my paintings like "this better be good sarah"?

Craig
no the person he was mocking was k
she was sitting in the second row
xxxx

Sarah
wow i'm sure that must have been thrilling for her, but he was talking about a guy "look at this guy sitting there with his ams crossed ..."


ha. There is a land called Passive Aggressiva and I am their Queen.

(Please note : while the first comment is hugely dripping with sarcasm, he really was talking about a guy)
(Please also note : I do know that I am also the Queen of Over-Reactingva (recently annexed))

Just 2 things for now ...

1. Craig and I (and my mother and sister and a boy named sam) went to see Danny Bhoy last night and he was amazing.
So so much more worth the money than Dylan Moran.
Charlotte and I want to marry him and have his little brown scottish babies (what? won't they come out with that accent?) but I'm pretty sure Charlotte gets dibs because I chose Craig and everything.

2. Our computer is Dead. Ever So Dead. Just another very expensive paperweight. Luckily it might just be a paperweight temporarily and I'm soon (ish) to be purchasing a laptop so our home will not be computer free for long.
The first day I was home alone all day without a computer felt very very strange ... at times I felt at a loose end ... but I'm now starting to like it.
The constant need to check my emails is waning. And thankfully I can use the internet at work. Which is where I am now, at 7:19 on a sunday morning.

My Earrings : Steve McQueen & Charles Bronson (The Cooler King and The Tunnel King)

(excuse the terrible photo of my right ear, but this story requires at least one illustration.)

This morning I woke up and the silver ball of my silver-ball-studs had managed to wedge itself into the hole of my silver tunnel. Said Ball and Said Tunnel are pictured above.
And by wedge I mean that it was STUCK.
Try as I might, I could not pull it out of there - and neither could Craig.

So at 6:35 this morning Craig and I were to be found standing in the doorway to our kitchen, Craig with both of his giant hands on my tiny ear, and me with one hand on his chest, and one hand around his right wrist, squinting and squeaking and squeezing his wrist.
I was squeaking not only because it's in my nature, or because it kind of hurt but because I was terrified that his giant hands would literally tear my tiny ear apart.
And the thought of that is pretty terrifying, you have to give me that at least.

I ended up using my much smaller fingers to take the backs off both earrings and manoeuver them both out of my ear at the same time (eek!) and at the exact moment they were freed they fell apart as though making a break for freedom.
I couldn't let two inanimate objects get the better of me (again) though so I caught them and put them right back.

Things Which Bug Me Inordinately :

Grammatical Errors in songs

Last night Craig downloaded the System of a Down song "Lonely Day". The first System of a Down song that I've ever actually liked ... until I paid attention to the lyrics :
The Most Loneliest Day of My Li-i-i-ife
There is NO SUCH THING as the MOST LONELIEST! The Loneliest IS the MOST LONELY.
Fuck.

Don't even get me started on The Darkness :
A One Way Ticket to He-e-ll and Back
Again! There can be NO SUCH THING.
I cannot listen to the song, and because the album has THAT line as the title - I've had to boycott that as well.

And then my head explodes.
Actually, no, I just claw at it and shriek and Craig finds it all just SO amusing

Mispronunciation bugs me less, as in the Natasha Bedingfield song "These Words Are My Own" when she sings :
No Hyperbole to Hide Behind
Pronouncing Hyperbole as Hyper-Bowl instead of Hyper-Bo-Lee.
But perhaps I'm biased because I love the song.


NB: I think I like "Lonely Day" in part because the title makes me think of the Lou Reed song "Perfect Day"

More exciting than Keith Richard's Brain Surgery ...

I would be lying if I said that this comment I received

I like reading about you and your husband; there should be a movie about you two.

hadn't completely made my day.

(I've got a headache, but it's better than a Subdural Haematoma)